TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS-LOCK DAY!! THIS IS THE DAY WHEN WE CAN YELL, SCREAM, HOLLER IN ALL-CAPS ALL WE WANT. YEAHHH!!!!! TODAY WE FUCKING VENT OUR SPLEEN! GO AHEAD, WRITE EVERYTHING IN ALL-CAPS, YOUR BLOG POSTS, YOUR E-MAILS, YOUR HOMEWORK, YOUR FUCKING GROCERY LISTS GOD DAMMMIT!!! ANY OTHER DAY IN THE YEAR IT IS RUDE, IT'S A BLATANT DISREGARD OF GOOD MANNERS CONTRARY TO ALL ELEMENTARY RULES OF NETIQUETTE, BUT TODAY IT IS OKAY, GO AHEAD AND GET WILD!
AH, SHIT, WHY STOP THERE? I DECREE THIS DAY OCTOBER 22ND TO BE FROM NOW ON INTERNATIONAL BOLD TYPE DAY ON TOP OF CAPS-LOCK!!! AND FUCK THIS, ARE WE GONNA BLOW IT OFF OR WON'T WE!!!??! BOLD-FACE TYPE, ALL-CAPS, AND ON TOP OF ALL THIS INTERNATIONAL EXCLAMATION POINT DAY!!!111!!111!! AND WHAT THE HELL, I ALSO DECREE THIS DAY TO BE INTERNATIONAL UNDERLINE, RED, AND IN 36 FUCKING POINTS FONT-SIZE!!!1111!!!111111!!!! CUM ON FEEL THE NOIIIIIISSE, WE GET WIIIIIILD WIIIIILLLD WIIIILLD!!!!!11111!!11!!11111
I WANT YOU TO GET UP NOW, I WANT YOU ALL TO PRESS YOUR CAPS-LOCK KEY, I WANT THE LITTLE GREEN LIGHT ON YOUR KEYBOARD BLINDING EVERYONE IN THE ROOM!!111!! I WANT YOU TO TYPE ALL OF YOUR SENTENCES WITH A MINIMUM OF 5 EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!111?!??111! I WANT YOU TO GO TO THE WINDOW, OPEN IT, STICK YOUR HEAD OUT AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS "I'M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I'M WRITING EVERYTHING IN CAPITAAAAAAAALS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I WANT YOU TO I WANT YOU ER, I WANt you to... oh damn, too late, it's midnight, the day is over, now now, calm down. Try again next year.
And quit yelling like that, dude, what the hell is wrong with you, come on, where have you been raised?
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