Quiz: Are you stupid?

Originally published August 4, 2005

Directions: one, you answer questions. Two, you see results bottom page. Then, you send questionnaire to friend so friend fill too. We clear? You reading okay?

How would you describe the state of your general culture?
1) On hold
2) Disconnected
3) Vegetative
4) Blonde
5) You are my favorite blogger, I own all of your albums.

Do you struggle with orthograph? i.e. do you make many spelling errors?
1) Hey, you made a eror on "speling"!
2) You also made a eror on "eror"! Like, you should talk.
3) Only when I write
4) 2 mistakes per word, is that considered a lot?
5) Oh yes, I would like to have your orthograph

What is your philosophy in life?
1) I may not be pretty, but I ain't smart either
2) I think, so... err, therefore... I... think... errr
3) 36 C
4) Anything that looks good on a car bumper
5) Can you repeat the question?

Are you subject to cognitive dissonances relatively to sensorial stimuli from your psycho-affective environment, and how does it influence your level of awareness towards the upsurge of the new socio-cultural paradigms?
1) Er ...?
2) The what in what now...?
3) ......
4) ....eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.....
5) Hi, I'm a first time caller, long time listener

Choose the sentence that best describes your intellectual capacities.
1) The light is on, but nobody's home
2) The wheel is turning, but the hamster's dead
3) I catch quickly, but I need to be explained for quite a while
4) The switch is turned on but the bulb is burnt out
5) Congratulations for your show

Here are six x-rays taken from various brains; choose the one that ressemble yours the most.


Answer true or false to the following questions:
I need an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes (True) (False)
I can't count to twenty without taking my shoes off (True) (False)
My intellectual quotient is a three digit figure, provided you include the decimals. (True) (False)
My ECG indicates "The number you are trying to reach is out of service" (True) (False)

Lastly, tell us who will sent this questionnaire to and why
1) To laugh together at the morons as a means of complicity
2) Because he (she) is a moron
3) I say 1) but mean 2)


RESULTS: If you answer any one of the preceding questions, you officially classify in the stupid category. Seriously.

43 presidents

Originally published February 17, 2005; update accordingly

The fact that the american presidents come from a variety of social classes and professions is no small pride to americans, who enjoy repeating the «anyone can become president» mantra. But if it's true that there has been about six or seven presidents who originated from modest or impoverished backgrounds, at least a dozen come from rich families if not outright aristocracy; in fact, 11 of them had another president somewhere in their family tree.

There are acquaintances that certainly don't harm: 15 had been card-carrying members of the Order of Freemasons, and 6 others are considered supporters. 2 were anti-masons (John Adams senior and junior), but that was almost two centuries ago.

And some prerequisites are mandatory: amongst the 43 presidents that the United States have had during its history, there had been

43 men

43 heterosexuals; no rumors of closet exists as far as I know.

43 whites, but there could have been some skeletons in the closet: according to some historians, 5 presidents had some black ancestry.

43 christians (42 protestants and 1 catholic)

0 atheists, or at least none have admitted so; but again, there could be some closet cases.


As for the governors, from a total of 1051, including colonies and territories:

29 women

4 asians, 3 blacks, 9 latinos, 0 native, 5 others/unknown

1051 christians, including 114 catholics; 0 self-declared atheists; in five states, it is still forbidden by law for an atheist to hold office.

And as you guess, 0 homosexuals.

3 out of 1051. Considering that african-americans account for 12% of the population, we come way short of representivity; as for catholics, they constitutes 23%. Christians total 86% of the population.

Fiction goes farther than reality, but timidly: of all the fictive presidents that Hollywood ever invented, only one to my knowledge has been portrayed by a black actor (Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact)*


And what about here in Canada? From 21 prime ministers, 15 were anglophones and 6 francophones.

In Quebec, 31 prime ministers: 2 anglophones and 29 francophones.

French speakers represent 20% of the canadian population, and 80% of the Quebec population. There is not a lot of countries where an oppressed minority has been so well represented in politics.


* Yes, I know now, there's also Dennis Haysbert in 24

Heptune: presidents list
National Governor Association
Premier ministre du Québec, site officiel
Teaching and learning about Canada
Adherents.com

Top 10 reasons why I hate top ten lists

Originally published April 17, 2007

• 10 – Every one is doing it; it's a cliche as old as time itself, it's getting tired.
• 9 – It has no scientific value or no objectiveness whatsoever; people put whatever they feel like in their toplists in an unapologetically arbitrary fashion.
• 8 – It's too easy; any moron and his grandma can rig a toplist; all you need is a topic and ten platitudes to say on it.
• 7 – It's been done to death: from the top ten nose-picking techniques to the top ten reasons why the weather is nice, there isn't any theme left that hasn't already been the subject of a top ten list. The well has run dry.
• 6 – Too many people haven't really understood the concept and put two or three items in a single entry, so that their top ten becomes a top 11 or 12. Also, too many people wrongly assume that peddling self-derision will make their list less lame.
• 5 – The vast majority of toplists deal with topics nobody even gives a flying fuck about.
• 4 – U mai hav a toplist on ur skyblog but u wil b still a moron and u ll rite as bad lol
• 3 – It's obvious padding. From inept talk-shows to blogs desperately groping for a meme, toplists have become a crutch compensating for the lack of content. It is especially symptomatic of a blogger that ran fresh out of ideas and hasn't posted in like, about a month and a half.
• 2 – Toplists are more often than not made by pompous asses who figure that because they have a blog they can write whatever they want in it.

And the number 1 reason why I hate toplists:

• 1 – Because it's my blog and I can write whatever I want in it

Next time, the top ten reasons why my blog is falling apart at the seams

Think about it

Originally published July 7, 2007

You're still there? What do you want from me, a blog post? I'm busy, go to sleep. C'mon, hurry up, beddie bye. Allright, allright, quit looking at me with those sad puppy eyes. Here are some random observations on various subjects

If Coke Zero really has all the taste of regular Coke but without any calories, why do they still make regular Coke?

I heard somewhere that woman have a less developed spatial perception. But I don't agree: to manage to fully block a 10 feet wide supermarket alley with a cart that's barely 3 foot long by 1 feet wide, you need a hell of a spatial perception I'm telling you.

Woman allegedly put on make-up to please men; if that is true, why are we never seeing any guy in cosmetic ads, but there's always a mirror visible?

Is the host entirely assimilated by the digestive system, or is there some leftover? I mean, when a christian sits down on the commode on monday morning to take a shit, is there a little bit of the body of Christ getting out of his ass?

While we're on the subject, if God created man in his image, does that mean that God has an asshole?

The World Trade Center in Shanghai, which will be the highest skyscraper in the world, is gonna have a circular aperture near its summit. Did the architects thought about all the breakneck daredevil who will get in their head to go through that hole with their plane, their hangglider or God knows what?

The extra-terrestrials that conspired with the americans to supply them stealth technology, have they ever thought of using it themselves?

Athletes who are juiced are supposedly a minority. Is this minority more likely to be found in the middle of the pack, at the end of it or in the lead?

According to the principle of wishful thinking, if the players of a hockey team start to pray, they will win the Stanley Cup. So, if all the players from all 30 NHL teams start to pray, will they all win the Stanley Cup? The same year?