Originally published December 25th, 2008
Christmas: it is a christian holiday right? Are you certain? You sure about that? Let's have a look, shall we?
For starters there's the date. December 25th was the day of Sol Invictus (Unvanquished Sun), a roman holiday of the winter solstice representing a composite of sun deities from various cults. It was not before the 4th century that it was assimilated with the celebration of the birth of Jesus. In fact the days preceding and following the winter solstice have been the object of rites and celebrations among just about every culture through Antiquity, and have invariably been associated with the worship of the Sun.
Then there's the tree. Germanic tribes venerated Yggdrasill, a mythical tree that held the world. To pay it hommage, kings hung sacrificial animals to tree branches, while the poor hung fruits or other offerings.
Father Christmas: well aren't we in some kind of mess or what. If the original Saint-Nicholas was a christian (and greek), he changed quite a lot along the centuries: norse mythology, germanic folklore, Charles Dickens all added their contribution. A certain Samuel Moore gave him his reindeers and sledge in a poem, an illustrator from Harper's Weekly caparisoned him in his red costume, a Macy's dept. stores ad campaign added a ninth reindeer (Rudolph), and another ad campaign, from Coca-Cola this time, fixed the portrait for posterity.
The confusion is such that hollanders don't even know to which saint they should turn to anymore: half of them offer gifts on Saint-Nicholas day (their traditional Sinte Klaas), half of them on Christmas (Santa Claus) and half of them on both. It's an epic clusterfuck, so let us just cut the gordian knot and proceed straight to the inevitable conclusion: Frankensanta here has jackshit to do with Jesus, and his origin is about as biblical as that of Barney the dinosaur.
The giving of presents: perhaps you think that the custom of exchanging gifts commemorates the offerings of gold, frankincense and myrrh by the three Magi to baby Jesus? Perhaps; but on the other hand, romans already held that custom during their saturnals.
Mistletoe? Sacred plants of the druids, it bears fruit during the winter solstice, and was used in their New Year rituals. The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe comes from Scandinavia, where it was held to be the plant of peace; ennemies who met under a branch of mistletoe laid down their weapons and observed a truce for a day. And to make a long story short, the Yule log also is from the Scandinavians, as well as the Yule stockings hung on the chimney. And the Yule garlands. And the habit of singing Yule carols from door to door. And the word Yule (are we through already? Beginning to grind my gears, those scandivanian they are).
Now for the Nativity scene, or creche. Okay, there's Mary, Joseph, Joseph jr sorry I mean Jesus, we're seeing some relevance at last. There's also the three Kings of the Magi, even if they aren't really kings in the Gospel, nor does it tell us how many they actually were or what were their names. There's no ox or ass; there are angels, but probably no star – it would have appeared to guide the magi, but doesn't seem visible from the site as it is in fact the angels that marshalled the neighbouring shepherds to the site.
As for baby Jesus, the fact of portraying him as a one-year-old might be passed off as artistic latitude (newborn infants are not exactly picture pretty), but the baby blues and golden curls send us back again straight to the cult of the Sun God, especially Apollo. Cause, y'know, Jesus was like all the other hebrews: he was a brown dude and his eyes were pitch black.
So next time someone starts busting your chops with this whole "christian heritage" that is Christmas Day routine, chortle quietly and tell them to just fuck away.
Showing posts with label You knew that?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label You knew that?. Show all posts
December 15, 2010
September 27, 2010
Let them eat s... cake
Originally published on December 27, 2009
At the last reckoning, the world population was about 6,8 billion; divided by 1 million tons, that gives 0,294 pounds, or divided by 365, 0,3656 grams per day. So if 100 millions tons of a given good is produced annually in the world, the equal share of each inhabitant comes to 36,56 g.
I went and perused production statistics of various basic food products. Some numbers dated back to 2006, and their accuracy is not always rigorous, but as a whole they give a rather good picture.
Whenever possible I substracted whatever was destined to cattle feed, or the production of ethanol fuel. So there is what each person on earth should be expecting to find on his plate every day:
At the last reckoning, the world population was about 6,8 billion; divided by 1 million tons, that gives 0,294 pounds, or divided by 365, 0,3656 grams per day. So if 100 millions tons of a given good is produced annually in the world, the equal share of each inhabitant comes to 36,56 g.
I went and perused production statistics of various basic food products. Some numbers dated back to 2006, and their accuracy is not always rigorous, but as a whole they give a rather good picture.
Whenever possible I substracted whatever was destined to cattle feed, or the production of ethanol fuel. So there is what each person on earth should be expecting to find on his plate every day:
23 grams of beef
35 grams of pork
6 grams of mutton
31 grams of poultry
19 grams of egg (about 1/4 of one egg)
44 grams of fish
200 grams of milk, 31 grams of cheese and 22 grams of butter
322 grams of vegetables and 135 grams of fruit
33 grams of maize
153 grams of wheat
36 grams of soy
149 grams of rice
152 grams of vegetable oil
If you have a hard time believing those figures, you are not the only one: I checked three times and I'm still convinced I fucked up somewhere, and if someone could point it out me where I would be very grateful cause I find it quite surreal that there are people starving to death on a planet capable of delivering nearly a kilo and a half to each and every one of its inhabitant.
I didn't factor in the food destined to pets; ah ha, here it is, the cause of world hunger, our cats and dogs. We should kill them all and eat them (yeah, I know, it's not funny).
As a closer, if each of the 6,8 billion earthling had a Toyota Prius, there would be enough gasoline at this moment to let each one of them drive 4,400 kilometers each year.
http://www.21food.com/news/detail10748.html
http://www.beef.org/uDocs/IssuesUpdate/Insight%20Jan-Feb%202009.pdf
http://www.pig-international.com/ViewArticle.aspx?id=27106
http://www.thepoultrysite.com/articles/918/food-outlook-global-market-analysis-poultry-meat
http://www.mydigitalfc.com/commodities/global-wheat-production-be-a-record-2008-09-report-261
http://nue.okstate.edu/crop_information/world_wheat_production.htm
http://www.foodproductiondaily.com/Supply-Chain/Record-world-wheat-production-forecast-in-2008-09
http://www.mydigitalfc.com/commodities/global-wheat-production-be-a-record-2008-09-report-261
http://www.rice-trade.com/world-wide-rice-production.html
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2148362/
http://www.greenfacts.org/en/fisheries/l-2/01-fisheries-production.htm#0
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m3779/is_n48/ai_11907856/
http://www.fao.org/docrep/010/ai466e/ai466e09.htm
http://www.internationalegg.com/corporate/eggindustry/details.asp?id=18
http://www.dairyco.net/datum/milk-supply/milk-production/world-milk-production.aspx
http://www.rabobank.com/.../The%20world%20of%20vegetables_intro_tcm43-34783.pdf
www.fas.usda.gov/.../World%20Fresh%20Fruit%20Market%20(08-04).pdf
(and numerous others...)
June 20, 2010
43 presidents
Originally published February 17, 2005; update accordingly
The fact that the american presidents come from a variety of social classes and professions is no small pride to americans, who enjoy repeating the «anyone can become president» mantra. But if it's true that there has been about six or seven presidents who originated from modest or impoverished backgrounds, at least a dozen come from rich families if not outright aristocracy; in fact, 11 of them had another president somewhere in their family tree.
There are acquaintances that certainly don't harm: 15 had been card-carrying members of the Order of Freemasons, and 6 others are considered supporters. 2 were anti-masons (John Adams senior and junior), but that was almost two centuries ago.
And some prerequisites are mandatory: amongst the 43 presidents that the United States have had during its history, there had been
43 men
43 heterosexuals; no rumors of closet exists as far as I know.
43 whites, but there could have been some skeletons in the closet: according to some historians, 5 presidents had some black ancestry.
43 christians (42 protestants and 1 catholic)
0 atheists, or at least none have admitted so; but again, there could be some closet cases.
As for the governors, from a total of 1051, including colonies and territories:
29 women
4 asians, 3 blacks, 9 latinos, 0 native, 5 others/unknown
1051 christians, including 114 catholics; 0 self-declared atheists; in five states, it is still forbidden by law for an atheist to hold office.
And as you guess, 0 homosexuals.
3 out of 1051. Considering that african-americans account for 12% of the population, we come way short of representivity; as for catholics, they constitutes 23%. Christians total 86% of the population.
Fiction goes farther than reality, but timidly: of all the fictive presidents that Hollywood ever invented, only one to my knowledge has been portrayed by a black actor (Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact)*
And what about here in Canada? From 21 prime ministers, 15 were anglophones and 6 francophones.
In Quebec, 31 prime ministers: 2 anglophones and 29 francophones.
French speakers represent 20% of the canadian population, and 80% of the Quebec population. There is not a lot of countries where an oppressed minority has been so well represented in politics.
* Yes, I know now, there's also Dennis Haysbert in 24
Heptune: presidents list
National Governor Association
Premier ministre du Québec, site officiel
Teaching and learning about Canada
Adherents.com
The fact that the american presidents come from a variety of social classes and professions is no small pride to americans, who enjoy repeating the «anyone can become president» mantra. But if it's true that there has been about six or seven presidents who originated from modest or impoverished backgrounds, at least a dozen come from rich families if not outright aristocracy; in fact, 11 of them had another president somewhere in their family tree.
There are acquaintances that certainly don't harm: 15 had been card-carrying members of the Order of Freemasons, and 6 others are considered supporters. 2 were anti-masons (John Adams senior and junior), but that was almost two centuries ago.
And some prerequisites are mandatory: amongst the 43 presidents that the United States have had during its history, there had been
43 men
43 heterosexuals; no rumors of closet exists as far as I know.
43 whites, but there could have been some skeletons in the closet: according to some historians, 5 presidents had some black ancestry.
43 christians (42 protestants and 1 catholic)
0 atheists, or at least none have admitted so; but again, there could be some closet cases.
As for the governors, from a total of 1051, including colonies and territories:
29 women
4 asians, 3 blacks, 9 latinos, 0 native, 5 others/unknown
1051 christians, including 114 catholics; 0 self-declared atheists; in five states, it is still forbidden by law for an atheist to hold office.
And as you guess, 0 homosexuals.
3 out of 1051. Considering that african-americans account for 12% of the population, we come way short of representivity; as for catholics, they constitutes 23%. Christians total 86% of the population.
Fiction goes farther than reality, but timidly: of all the fictive presidents that Hollywood ever invented, only one to my knowledge has been portrayed by a black actor (Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact)*
And what about here in Canada? From 21 prime ministers, 15 were anglophones and 6 francophones.
In Quebec, 31 prime ministers: 2 anglophones and 29 francophones.
French speakers represent 20% of the canadian population, and 80% of the Quebec population. There is not a lot of countries where an oppressed minority has been so well represented in politics.
* Yes, I know now, there's also Dennis Haysbert in 24
Heptune: presidents list
National Governor Association
Premier ministre du Québec, site officiel
Teaching and learning about Canada
Adherents.com
May 9, 2010
The Vietnam Memorial
Originally published March 3, 2009
The Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington, one of a three-part monument, is a wall upon which are inscribed the names of all the US soldiers killed and missing in action in the Vietnam war. Measuring 150 meters long, the monument is formed of two triangular sections leaning on each other back-to-back, each measuring 3 meters high at their apex and tapering to 20 cm at their extremities; by joining them alongside their hypothenuses, we would obtain a 75 x 3.2 meters rectangle, or 240 m2.
58 260 names were engraved on it as of february 2009; divided by 240 m2, we have 1 name per 41 cm2, or a little less than 243 names per square meter.
If we were to add the 220 357 south-vietnamese, 4960 korean and other american allied soldiers, we'd have a total of 285 831 names: we would then need 1176 m2, or keeping the same height, a 735 meters long wall, and it would have been necessary to move the Lincoln Memorial to give it room. If their north-vietnamese opponents would get the idea of building their own memorial to put their 1 176 000 losses, they would get a 4839 m2 wall, or 3.02 kilometers long.
At the other end of the scale, a monument dedicated to the 4251 GI killed in the Irak war would be 17 meters square, or 11 meters long and would easily fit in a shipping container; as for the 390 Coalition casualties of the Gulf war, they give us a 1,6m2 wall or 50cm long, or rather should we say wide as this monument wouldn't look so much like a wall than a stick actually.
The 417 american soldiers killed in Afghanistan would fill 1,8m2; the 107 canadians, a 12 cm wide post.
The 45 300 canadian soldiers fallen during WW2 would give us a 116 meters wall; meanwhile, with 416 800 killed in action the americans would fill a monument 1,07 kilometers long.
The french wall with its 215 000 names would measure 552 meters; or by keeping the original length, a 11,39 meters high monument which could perhaps suffice to outshade another wall, of shame this one, where would be inscribed on 102 meters the 40 000 french that fell under german or Vichy flags.
Speaking of walls of shame, the names of the 5 533 000 fallen germans would have covered 6,23 kilometers of the Berlin Wall, or a little less than 5% of its length.
The exact length of the soviet monument more than any other is open to debate, but it is certain that with somewhere along the lines of 10 and a half million casualties, the Red Army would deserve the Mother of all Walls, of which the 4,3 hectares of names would fill a monument as long as 27 kilometers; one extremity would be situated in the middle of Capitol Heights, and the other would end in Arlington, somewhere between Mason District Park and Barcroft Lake; its construction would have taken 10 years. If it was built with the original length, its summit would culminate at 288 meters, twice the height of the Washington Monument. For every meter separating Moscow from Berlin, six soldiers of the Red Army gave their lives.
Concerning World War I however, the Russian Empire yields the top step to Germany, with a 4,7 km wall compared to 5,2 km. France's wall measures 3,6 km, England and Ireland's 2,3 km, the U.S. 300 meters and Canada 167 meters.
667 000 americans were killed in action in the course of all the wars of the 20th and 21st centuries; a 1,7 km wall, compared to 2,7 km for all the americans victim of homicide during the same period. In total, about 34 000 000 soldiers have fallen in the 20th century, a wall nearly 85 km running between Manassas and the Chesapeake Bay; 14 hectares of names which would end up costing over 2 billion dollars upon its completion slated for 2035.
As for the civilians... you know what, I don't even want to talk about it.
WikiPedia (Vietnam Veterans Memorial, World War I casualties, World War II casualties, Iraq War, Coalition casualties in Afghanistan, Gulf War)
Google Maps
Twentieth Century Atlas.
The Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington, one of a three-part monument, is a wall upon which are inscribed the names of all the US soldiers killed and missing in action in the Vietnam war. Measuring 150 meters long, the monument is formed of two triangular sections leaning on each other back-to-back, each measuring 3 meters high at their apex and tapering to 20 cm at their extremities; by joining them alongside their hypothenuses, we would obtain a 75 x 3.2 meters rectangle, or 240 m2.
58 260 names were engraved on it as of february 2009; divided by 240 m2, we have 1 name per 41 cm2, or a little less than 243 names per square meter.
If we were to add the 220 357 south-vietnamese, 4960 korean and other american allied soldiers, we'd have a total of 285 831 names: we would then need 1176 m2, or keeping the same height, a 735 meters long wall, and it would have been necessary to move the Lincoln Memorial to give it room. If their north-vietnamese opponents would get the idea of building their own memorial to put their 1 176 000 losses, they would get a 4839 m2 wall, or 3.02 kilometers long.
At the other end of the scale, a monument dedicated to the 4251 GI killed in the Irak war would be 17 meters square, or 11 meters long and would easily fit in a shipping container; as for the 390 Coalition casualties of the Gulf war, they give us a 1,6m2 wall or 50cm long, or rather should we say wide as this monument wouldn't look so much like a wall than a stick actually.
The 417 american soldiers killed in Afghanistan would fill 1,8m2; the 107 canadians, a 12 cm wide post.
The 45 300 canadian soldiers fallen during WW2 would give us a 116 meters wall; meanwhile, with 416 800 killed in action the americans would fill a monument 1,07 kilometers long.
The french wall with its 215 000 names would measure 552 meters; or by keeping the original length, a 11,39 meters high monument which could perhaps suffice to outshade another wall, of shame this one, where would be inscribed on 102 meters the 40 000 french that fell under german or Vichy flags.
Speaking of walls of shame, the names of the 5 533 000 fallen germans would have covered 6,23 kilometers of the Berlin Wall, or a little less than 5% of its length.
The exact length of the soviet monument more than any other is open to debate, but it is certain that with somewhere along the lines of 10 and a half million casualties, the Red Army would deserve the Mother of all Walls, of which the 4,3 hectares of names would fill a monument as long as 27 kilometers; one extremity would be situated in the middle of Capitol Heights, and the other would end in Arlington, somewhere between Mason District Park and Barcroft Lake; its construction would have taken 10 years. If it was built with the original length, its summit would culminate at 288 meters, twice the height of the Washington Monument. For every meter separating Moscow from Berlin, six soldiers of the Red Army gave their lives.
Concerning World War I however, the Russian Empire yields the top step to Germany, with a 4,7 km wall compared to 5,2 km. France's wall measures 3,6 km, England and Ireland's 2,3 km, the U.S. 300 meters and Canada 167 meters.
667 000 americans were killed in action in the course of all the wars of the 20th and 21st centuries; a 1,7 km wall, compared to 2,7 km for all the americans victim of homicide during the same period. In total, about 34 000 000 soldiers have fallen in the 20th century, a wall nearly 85 km running between Manassas and the Chesapeake Bay; 14 hectares of names which would end up costing over 2 billion dollars upon its completion slated for 2035.
As for the civilians... you know what, I don't even want to talk about it.
WikiPedia (Vietnam Veterans Memorial, World War I casualties, World War II casualties, Iraq War, Coalition casualties in Afghanistan, Gulf War)
Google Maps
Twentieth Century Atlas.
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